The Problem Behind the "That Girl" Aesthetic

Recently the “that girl” aesthetic has taken social media by storm. The phrase is supposed to encapsulate someone who prioritizes themselves and is working on becoming the best version of themselves. In theory this sounds positive; however, in my opinion this trend has taken on a toxicity of its own, so much so that you wouldn’t necessarily realise the meaning behind this term. Instead the internet has been busy at work, churning out repetitive content under this hashtag which is supposed to be aspirational and show self-care, yet only promotes that self-development can look one way.

First, let’s unpack the qualities behind “that girl”. She is supposed to wake up every day at 6am, have a perfectly made bed, follows Pilate workouts, drinks a green juice, eats a calorie deficit, owns the 5-minute journal, meditates, and always has a productive day no matter what. She supposedly follows this routine every day, is put together for every occasion and is constantly progressing towards achieving her life goals.

In digesting this content, it’s easy to become wrapped up and fall into a spiral of comparison between your life and the one pictured before you on your phone. It can leave those who are not fulfilling the attributes mentioned above with a sense of envy and a desperation to be “that girl”. I, too, fell into this pattern and even began saving the videos I was consuming, hoping to implement the all-important routine into my own life. I didn’t realise that the sixty seconds I was watching only showed a snapshot of someone’s life, which was falsely advertised as their “everyday”. It promotes this idea of the perfect life, that is supposed to be aspirational but is actually unattainable. This can be severely damaging, as if you are continuously holding yourself to such a high standard, when you inevitably don’t reach this, it can leave you feeling dejected, like a failure.

A pattern that regularly reoccurs with this content that is heavily pushed on social media platforms like Tik Tok, is that it almost always features a slim white woman. This is not diverse in representing all ethnic backgrounds and all body types and can cause a harmful mentality by sending the message that you cannot be “that girl” if you do not fit in this specific category. In only highlighting one certain type of girl, the trend can be disheartening to those that are incapable of ever fitting in this classification, leaving mental scars of unworthiness. It doesn’t celebrate the differences in the variety of body types and ethnic backgrounds that exist which make us all unique. Like our clothes we are not one size fits all, so why would this be the same for our lifestyles and morning routines?

The “that girl” stereotype depicts a privileged white woman not only in terms of race but also in terms of finances. The lifestyle depicted by this “It girl” features luxuries like Pilate classes, which not everyone can necessarily afford. It is shown to be expensive to maintain and by focusing on this check list of extravagances, it makes mental health an aesthetic rather than concentrating on the actual practice of taking care of yourself. There are also other ways to take care of yourself than just taking a fitness class or ice rolling your face, which in fact only takes care of your outward appearance instead of mental self-care. When it comes to self-care and mental health, everyone has different needs that need to be maintained. There isn’t just one copy and paste regime that is beneficial to suit every person, which needs to be acknowledged in the rigid “that girl” stereotype.

The “that girl” trend emphasises the importance society places in working hard 24/7 and for long hours at a time. The hustle is admired and portrayed as the only way to achieve your goals. However, what it doesn’t show is the unhealthy burnout that can occur from forcing yourself into a routine that is not physically sustainable, leaving you drained, tired and even less productive. There is no sense of balance prioritized in being “that girl”, they are never shown to have a rest day or eating a slice of pizza, which is important in leading a healthy lifestyle, especially the pizza. A healthy lifestyle also differs from person to person, based on the individual; for me, I could think of nothing less appealing than forcing myself to down a green juice and eat a salad for lunch every day. I also know for myself that waking up before 7am is just not going to happen most days if ever, which shouldn’t automatically mean that I am a failure.

The important lesson behind the “that girl” aesthetic is to take it with a pinch of salt. Take the meaning behind the term more than the idealized routine which has become cloned by influencers and only appreciates one body type and ethnicity. I think the girls that are the best version of themselves listen to their body and let themselves rest if needed as well as working hard to reach their goals whatever they may be. There isn’t just one “that girl”, we are all in fact “that girl” in our own way if we want to be.